The nursery rhyme – “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a lie. Words can build someone up or crush their spirit. They can motivate or demoralize.
Sometimes people don’t consider how powerful their words can be or how they can leave a lasting impression. As a leader or parent, you can intimidate and beat down or you can encourage and lift up. As a writer you can promote divisiveness and animosity or foster harmony and understanding. As a colleague or friend, you can humiliate and disparage or encourage and support.
James, the brother of Jesus, talks about the power of the tongue –
“Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:4-6)
Words are free, but they can be costly. They can be quick to say, but last a lifetime. Do you want to use them to lift up or tear down?
Think before you speak. Consider your tone as much as the words you choose. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider how you would feel with what is about to be said if it was directed at you. Think twice if what you are about to say is negative. It might need to be said, but remember – once it passes your lips, you can’t take it back.